Nothing but Deadweight
by EvilBelgium
Summary: You spend months with Ben Paul. You either treat him bad, or not. You might feel bad for him, or not. But what about Ben's feelings? This is Ben's POV in chapters 2-5. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

Nothing but Deadweight

Note: I don't own any of the characters from Walking Dead.

Running was the only thing on Ben Paul's mind. Running away from walkers and bandits. That was the most important thing to him, especially after their new discovery. He was running with Travis, a friend of his, and David, a teacher.

"How much longer to we have to run?" Travis panted.

"I don't know! How should I know?!" Ben frantically replied.

"Well, be better find someplace soon! I don't think-"  
"AAARRRGH!" David screamed.

Ben and Travis skidded to a stop. David's leg was shut inside a rusty old trap

"Oh-oh shit," David breathed. "Get it off…GET IT OFF OF ME!"

"Quiet! You're gonna attract all the walkers!"

David was whimpering in pain when two men suddenly ran towards us. One with an axe and another with a gun and glasses.

"Jesus Christ…" The man with the gun murmured

"Oh shit!" Travis exclaimed," No. No…Please don't kill us! We just want to help out teacher! We'll leave. I swear!"  
"Lee!" A voice called from a distance. Another man with a gun, cap and mustache came along.

_Great. More company._

"You guys okay?"  
"G-get it off!" David wailed, "Get if off, God Dammit, get it off me!"

"Travis!" Ben called, "Maybe these guys can help!"

"These might be the same guys who raided our camp and… we barely got away from that!" Travis protested.

"What guys?" The man with the glasses asked.

"Who the raided your camp?" The man with the axe demanded.

"I-I don't know! Guys with guns!" Ben babbled

"Please!" Travis begged, "We won't bother you I swear!"

David wailed in pain again

"Lee this is fucked up. We've gotta help 'em." The man with glasses demanded.

"PLEASE" Ben beseeched

"Ben, shut up!" Travis interrupted, "My dad was Special Forces, I know what I'm doing!"

However, Ben knew this was their only hope.

"Just see if you can get him out! After that you can leave us or whatever. I don't care! Please!" Ben could see Travis rolling his eyes.

Ben, and David were now shambling through the woods with the three men they met. Travis didn't make it. Ben was only able to figure out that the man with the axe was Lee, The man wearing glasses was Mark, and the one with the cap was Kenny. All of them broke out onto the road to see the Travalier Motel. Ben remembered his family staying there a couple of times. Ben cringed.

_You can't think of them now._

"Get the gates open! We've got wounded." Lee called out.

One dumpster was shoved forward, and Ben rushed in without even thinking, almost smashing into a mother and her son.

"Who the HELL are these people?!" A big angry-looking man yelled.

There were jumbles of sentences everywhere as Ben helped David into a pickup truck. The woman he almost crashed into earlier ran over to him.

Over the jumbles of words, there was a louder, sterner voice he heard

"Lee! LEE!" A woman with long hair demanded, "What the hell? You can't just be bringing new people here! What are you thinking?"

More sentences of argument arose, even more loudly than last time.

"He would've DIED if we left him!" Lee defended

"So what?" The big man asked.

"We are NOT responsible for every struggling survivor we come across! We have to focus on OUR group! Right here. Right now" the long-haired woman ordered.

"Come on Lilly." Mark protested, "These are people! People trying to survive just like us. We've gotta stick together to survive!"

"The only reason you're here is because you had food." Lilly snapped back, "Enough for all of us. But that food is almost gone. We maybe got a week's worth left-" Lilly suddenly turned towards Ben, making him flinch, "and I don't suppose you guys are carrying any groceries are you?!"

"…No."

Ben was starting to get scared of Lilly

"Fine," Mark said, "You guys fight it out then. Welcome to the family, kid."

Ben felt something grab his hand

"Come over here and see what I drew." A little girl told him.

That girl reminded him too much of his little sister, always happily asking everyone to see what she drew. He knew that he couldn't stay near her for too long without going absolutely crazy.

"What? No, I-"

"Just come on." The girl pleaded, dragging him away from another argument.

Ben sat on the hot pavement while he watched Clementine and Duck draw a makeshift map of Atlanta. He caught a glance at Lee, holding four food items. He knew that he would not eat today. Lee gave a piece to Clementine, Duck, Kenny and Carley. Then Lee walked towards him

"Hey, is my friend gonna make it?" Ben asked

"I don't know, but Katjaa will do her best, I promise."

"I can't believe you chopped of his leg!"  
"There was no other way…" Lee paused, "So who are you people? Our group's gonna want to know."

"I'm Ben. Ben Paul. The man you saved is Mr. Parker, the band director at my school. We all came down from Stone Mountain for the playoffs when…" Ben trailed off, "When everything happened."

There was a long silence.

"I wished I could've helped." Ben confessed.

"You did all you could." Lee replied.

"Ken, Lee? Come here please." Katjaa called.

"Do you like my drawing?" Clementine asked. Many memories flashed through his head like a broken light. Ben hung his head

"It's good." Ben managed to say.

"Ben? Is there something wrong?"

"It's just. I have-"

Katjaa's screams echoed across the motel.

"The axe." Lee screamed. "Hurry!"

Ben froze, and ran towards the pickup truck as fast as he could.

He knew Mr. Parker had died.


	2. Chapter 2

I just wanted to say thank you for the people who reviewed! You have encouraged me to keep this series going!

-EvilBelgium

"Why didn't you tell us he was bitten?!" Kenny demanded.

"What?" Ben replied, confused.

"He was bitten and you didn't say a goddamn word!"

"But he wasn't bitten, I swear!"

"Well your 'not-bitten' friend here came back to life and tried to kill my wife!"

"What?!" Ben was shocked. They didn't know? "Wait, y'all don't know?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kenny demanded

Ben shook his head.

"It's not the bite that does it! You come back no matter how you die. If you don't destroy the brain, that's just what happens. It's gonna happen to all of us…"

There was a long pause

"You're lying." Lee protested.

"It's true." Ben said, "I swear it."  
"Maybe he's right." Katjaa stepped in, "I didn't see any bites. It would explain why there are so many of them."

"Jesus Christ." Kenny breathed. "If you just, die and that's all it takes, then shit, one fatal car accident and a family of five turns into a family of walkers."  
"When I first saw it happen," Ben began to explain, "we were all hiding out in a gym and everybody thought we were finally safe. But one of the girls, Jenny Pitcher I think, I guess she couldn't take it." Ben shuddered at the memory. "She took some pills. A lot of them. Someone went in the girl's room the next morning and…God…" Ben remembered the death of his other friend, Kate. Suddenly, the bells near the gate started ringing. That meant something, or someone was coming our way. Everyone turned towards the gate, and Carley pointed her gun towards two men.

"Back off." She hissed

"Woah lady, relax!" The taller one exclaimed, "Me and my brother, we… we just want to know if y'all can help us out.

"I SAID BACK OFF!" Carley repeated

"Carley…" Lilly reassured.

"You're outnumbered here. Just turn around and go back." Lee said  
"Okay that's fine. But you'd really be helping out a fellow survivor if you could part with some extra gas before we leave…"

"Why do you need gas?" Carley demanded.

"Our place is protected by an electric fence. Generators provide us the electricity… Our generators run on gas."

Everyone was still looking at those two men, still suspicious. Ben was probably the only one who felt scared.

"Look, we own a dairy farm a few miles up the road. If ya'll be willin' to lower your guns, we can talk about some kind of trade."

Ben was still afraid of those two men.

"How are ya'll doing on food?" The smaller one asked, "W-we got plenty at the dairy."

There was another long pause.

"Lee, why don't you and Mark check the place out, see if it's legit." Lilly ordered

"I'm going with you. I got your back if anything gets fishy." Carley said

"So…what are ya'll thinking?"

"Yeah…we'll go." Lee replied.

Lee, Mark and Carley for some reason dragged Ben along to the dairy. He was trailing behind Mark, who was chatting with the St. Johns brothers, Danny and Andrew. Mark, Danny and Andy slowed down a bit to talk to Lee, putting Ben in the front. All Ben could think about was his family. He failed to keep the bad memories out of his head. The brothers were talking about they could help on the dairy.

"In summers, I used to work on a goat farm." Ben added, hoping to distract him from the horrible memories of his sister screaming.

"Yeah, that's great. Everything helps!" Danny said.

"Momma's been running the dairy…as long as I can remember," Andrew started, "but now it's getting-"

"You think you're gonna cut me out of this?" A voice yelled

Everyone froze in place.

"Shit! Get down!"

It was two bandits arguing

"No one is trying to cut you out of anything!" The other one replied

"Fucking bandits." Ben muttered

"Who?" Lee asked.

"These look like the guys who raided my camp." Ben explained.

"Who are they?" Lee asked again

"Shh. Fucking assholes are what they are." Andrew interrupted.

"There's only two of them." Carley observed.

"Oh no, there are much more than that. Don't worry, Danny and I got ya if anything happens, but let's just wait this out and hope they move on."

Ben hoped that was enough to keep them safe.

"FUCK YOU." One of the bandits roared, kicking and shooting his companion.

Ben gasped. He wasn't expecting that. The bandit walked over to his teammate's corpse and shot it many times.

"FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!" the bandit kept roaring.

"Jesus!" Carley breathed.

"Asshole." The bandit said before leaving.

"The world out here has gone to shit." Andy said. "Come on, let's get to the dairy, where it's safe."

Ben sighed in relief. He would really like to go somewhere safe.

The gang had been walking for what seemed like hours until they approached a big house.  
"Welcome to St. John's family dairy." Andy proudly introduced. "Y'all can see how we kept the place so safe."

"The fence keeps them out?" Mark asked.

"You betcha. They fry like bugs in a zapper. Were pushing 400 volts through that thing with generators and amps."

"I'm going to assume that's a lot." Carley guessed.

They walked through the gate, allowing the gang to look around.

"This is a really brilliant setup." Lee said.

"Suits us just fine." Andy replied.

"This place looks untouched!" Carley said, "You'd never know the rest of the world is in ruins."

"It's worth protecting, hence all the juice."

"I thought I saw y'all coming down with company down the drive!" A lady walking towards them said.

"Guys, this is our mama." Andy said.

"I'm Brenda St. John and welcome to the St. John's Dairy!" The woman welcomed.

Ben felt that there was something wrong with this place, but he always felt that way about everything.

"This here is Lee. He's from Macon!"

"A couple of out farmhands were from Macon! They grow 'em good up there." Brenda said.

Ben suddenly noticed Danny staring at Andy with an angry look on his face.

_Sibling rivalry maybe?_

"They got a few more friends staying at the old motel." Danny said.

"Oh my goodness, that place is pretty vulnerable!" Brenda exclaimed, "Have you got someone with survival experience to lead your group?"  
"I've got things under control there." Lee replied.

"Well, I hope you know what you're doing. That place isn't safe like it is here. Now that you're all here, we'll make sure you're safe and comfortable."

"Safe" and "comfortable" didn't seem like the right words to Ben.

"We're awful hungry." Lee confessed.

"These are for y'all. Baked fresh this morning."

"Amazing" Carley said.

"Can't get that stuff anymore," Danny said. "Not without a cow for milk and butter, that's for sure."

"That's right." Brenda said, "Hopefully Maybelle gets through this bout of whatever she's got and be with us for a good-long while."

"Your cow is sick? What's she" Lee began

"We have a vet!" Mark interrupted, "We could bring her here. We can help you folks out!"

"A vet?" Brenda asked, "Oh my! Our prayers have been answered!"

_Not a good idea, Mark!_

"Maybe our whole group could come! For a day!"  
_Mark, your making this worse._

"Well, how about this? You go get your veterinary friend, and I'll go prepare some dinner. A big feast for all you hungry souls."

Ben didn't want no "big feast" from these people.

"It'll be nice to have some folks around to help out around here again. Danny, why don't you come help me out in the kitchen?"

Danny merely nodded.

"Why don't I go back with the food and round up everyone for the trip back here?" Carley offered.

"You might wanna take someone with you." Andy replied, "Those roads can be dangerous."

"I can handle myself." Carley said back.

"Here take this." Mark said, giving her the gun. "Why don't you go ahead and take Ben along anyway."  
Ben felt relieved to go away from this "dairy".

"Take care of yourself, Lee. See ya in a while Lee."

Ben followed Carley away from the farm.

"So you're saying they have food?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah." Carley replied. "Lots of it."  
"Then what are we waiting for? We should go now!"

"You and Ben should stay here and guard the place." Lilly ordered.  
"Fine." Carley replied.

Ben was silent the entire time.

After the others left for the dairy, Carley turned to Ben.

"Why don't you get some rest? I'll call you if I need you." Carley told him

Ben just nodded and went for one of the rooms in the motel and lay down on one of the beds. Before he knew it, he was in a deep sleep.

Ben woke up and realized he was in an entirely different setting. He was in his car, driving to another school so he could perform for his band.


	3. Chapter 3

Note: This chapter will be much shorter than the other two. I'll try to make that up in the next one!

Ben knew he was dreaming. He had to be. Was he really? It felt so real. He was in his car, riding to another school for a band performance. His little sister was curled right next to him, sleeping. She had blond hair, like him and soft green eyes. Ben put his arm around his sister, pulling her closer. He would like if this was real. Their car pulled up to the school. His parents walked out of the car.

"You kids stay here." His dad said, "Your mother and I just need to check something."

His parents walked into the building, and Ben woke is sister up.

"Wake up. We're here."

Ben's sister sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"I hope you do well Ben." His sister said, smiling.

"I hope so too." Ben replied. Ben suddenly heard a loud shriek. His sister heard it too.

_No. Not again._

Ben turned around and saw that a window was open.

"Close the window!" Ben yelled.

"I can't!" His sister said, frightened, "The car is off and Dad has the keys!"

"Shit!" Ben exclaimed. "We have to get out of here-"

Ben heard his sister scream. Ben whipped around to see a walker grabbing his sister through the open window.

"BEN HELP ME!" His sister screamed. Ben looked out his car window, and saw an opening he could run through towards the school. He looked back at his sister.

"BEN PLEASE!" His sister screamed once more.

Ben looked at the opening. Without thinking, Ben opened his car door and ran towards the school.

"BEN!" His sister wailed in pain. But Ben kept running. But now there was no school in sight, no cars, no trees, no people. He was running on an endless landscape of blacktop. His sister's screaming didn't cease of get any quieter. Ben wanted to turn around and save his sister, but he couldn't stop running. Ben skidded to a stop. His sister's screaming was coming from every direction at once. Ben clutched his head, yelling at himself to wake up,

"WAKE UP! GODAMMIT MAKE IT STOP!" Ben screamed at himself. His sister's screams suddenly stopped, and an eerie silence followed. Ben soon heard a faint whisper, much like a spring breeze.

"You're nothing bur deadweight."

Ben woke up with a gasp, still in the motel bedroom. Ben covered his eyes and started silently weeping. He was able to watch his teacher's leg get chopped off without getting the least bit sick. He was able to escape bandits with his life. He was able to see his own friend die, screaming in cold blood. So why, WHY was he not able to save his sister that one day? Ben's weeping turned into crying. That whisper in the dream was right. He was nothing but deadweight.


	4. Chapter 4

Carley and Ben were sitting outside. It was nighttime. He just told Carley about his life before the apocalypse.

"I wish I could've saved her." Ben sighed.

"You were afraid." Carley said, "We all were."

That didn't make Ben feel any better. There was a long pause.

"Lee and the others have been gone for a long time." Carley finally said

"That lady said that she was gonna make them dinner." Ben replied.

"I know, I just want to check. This motel is protected enough anyway."

"…Alright." Ben was unsure of going back to the dairy.

[Trans.]

Ben and Carley crept up towards the dairy, killing a walker in the process.

"Carley!" Lee whispered.

"Lee?" Carley asked

Ben tripped over a rock. "Ow."

"Shh." Carley snapped, "Is everyone ok? We heard screams as we were coming up to the house!"

"We need your help!" Lee replied.

"Yeah, when you guys didn't come back, I knew something was up. What can we do?"

"Larry's dead. They chopped Mark's legs and tried to feed them to us!" Lee quietly exclaimed.

Ben shook his head in shock. He knew there was something up with that dairy, and now Mark was dead… the first person to welcome Ben into the group.

"Shit!" Carley said to herself, "Is everyone else okay?"

"They've still got Katjaa and Duck in the house and I don't know where the fuck Kenny is!" Lee replied.

"Alright we're coming into help!"

"The main gate's to dangerous, go around the fence and see if there's a back way in. I'll keep looking for Kenny. Do you have a weapon?"

"Never leave home without it." Carley replied proudly, "Ben, stick close. And Lee, be careful."

Ben and Carley walked deeper into the fields, making Ben more nervous.

"I can't believe you let them go!" A voice roared.

Ben froze. That was Andy St. John's voice. Carley seemed to notice as well.

"Well at least I ain't momma's favorite!" Danny St. John snapped back, "Otherwise, I'd be getting a worse beating from her! But that doesn't matter because she's too caught up with you, she's too stupid to care about me!"

"Don't you DARE say that about out momma!"

"Why shouldn't I? We are all gonna die and she'll be the first to go!"

Ben could tell that Danny was blabbering nonsense.

"We will NOT die ever!" Andy yelled at his older brother, "Don't ever say that!"

"Or maybe you can die first!" Danny screamed, "So I can laugh at your dying corpse-"

A gunshot rang through the heavy rain, followed by a loud thud. Ben heard hysterical crying.

"Oh god, what did I do?" Andy sobbed, "Momma, what did I do? Killed my own brother. And for what reason? Oh Danny, brother, I am more sorry than I'll ever be."

The sound of a body being dragged across the grass was heard, and the sound of Andy sticking something into his dead brother's corpse echoed through the barn. Ben felt sick to his stomach. Footsteps exited the barn.

"Come on boy." Andy ordered, as if nothing happened.

"No, I don't wanna come with you!" Duck said.

"You're coming with me whether you like it or not!"

"Come on Ben, we have to get in. Fast!" Carley said.

Carley and Ben ran through to gate, only to see Lee and Andy arguing, with a gun pointed at Duck's head. Carley quickly shot Andy in the ear. Lee ran towards Andy, deterring his gun away from anyone else. Lee smashed the end of the gun to Andy's face, causing them to fall down a small hill and crash through a fence. Andy quickly stood up and kneed Lee in the face. While Lee was dazed, Andy went to turn on the generator.

"Get up," Andy ordered, "Get the fuck up."

Lee was dragged towards the electric fence by Andy. He shoved Lee towards the electric fence, and Lee resisted. Ben was scared for Lee's life

"Lilly," Lee called, "Help!"

But Lilly just stood there with Clementine, an angry expression plastered onto her face. Why wasn't she moving? Was it something about Larry? Lee suddenly pushed Andy onto the ground, got on top of him and started punching him. Andy flipped him over, and started punching him as well.

"This is for killing my brother!" Andy yelled in Lee's face.

"I didn't kill him!" Lee choked out.

Andy didn't say anything else. Only Ben and Carley knew what he meant. Lee threw Andy on his back, making him on the top again. They both stood up and continued brawling. Lee gave one last burst of strength, and pushed Andy onto the electric fence. Andy twitched on the ground for a few seconds, then stopped. Ben winced, but was pretty sure he was alive, his head didn't make contact with the electric fence.

Lee grabbed Andy's gun and started walking away.

"Is that all ya got Lee?" Andy laughed, trying to sit up, "You ain't shit!"

Lee turned around.

"It's over!" Lee yelled.

"Fuck you!" Andy roared, his speech now slurred, "As soon as Dan and Mama get out here, you're all fucked!"

Ben knew that was a lie. There was no way Dan was coming.

"I said it's over!" Lee roared back, "Just walk away!"

Lee stared at Andy for another second before walking away himself.

"Don't you DARE walk away from me, Lee!" Andy fell to his knees. "Come back and finish this Lee!"

Lee looked at Andy again for a long moment. Ben was afraid Lee was going to actually kill Andy. But Lee just shook his head and continued to walk towards our group.

"Get back here and fight me like a man Lee."

Lee only continued to walk.

"LEEEEEEE!" Andy pleaded.

Ben almost felt sorry for the cannibal. He knew why Andy wanted to die so much.

"They're getting in!" Clementine suddenly said. Ben backed away. Not the best time for walkers to show up.

"LEEEEEEEEEEE!" Andy screamed.

"Let's go." Lee stated.

Everyone walked out of the gate, not looking back.

"Lee…" Andy begged one last time. The only thing Andy could do now was collapse.

[Trans.]

The group was walking back to the motel in silence. Not a word was spoken. Ben was trailing behind Kenny, who was clutching his bleeding side. Carley broke into conversation with Lee.

"Hey Lee, I'd say sorry for keeping the motel unguarded, but you know."

"I'm glad you showed up when you did." Lee replied, "If you hadn't taken that shot at Andy, we might not have gotten out of there."

Benn looked down. He never wanted to be reminded of that ever again.

"Were they really killing people…for food?"

"…Yeah. And Clementine almost ate some."

There was a short pause.

"But…?" Carley asked.

"I stopped her." Lee finished, "I can't leave her alone, Carley. This fucking world now. It's just hiding unspeakable shit at every turn."  
Ben would agree to that any day.

"Katjaa managed to grab this while she was in the house. She said it was with your stuff." Carley said, changing the subject.

Ben couldn't see it that well in the back, but it looked like some sort of camera.

"Yeah, I found it when I was looking for the people who shot Mark." Lee said, "You want to keep it?"

"Why don't you keep it," Carley stated, "Sometimes it helps to have something you can document your thoughts on."

"Dad, what's that sound?" Duck asked.

Kenny tilted his head, trying to hear the noise, "Sounds like a car."

"Oh God…not more strangers." Ben said.

Lee crept around a bush.

"Don't shoot! We're here to help!"

Lee examined the car for a bit before Kenny went up to the car as well.

"Holy crap!" Kenny said, "Baby, you got to see this! There's a shit load of food and supplies back here!"

Ben followed the rest of the group to the car.

"This food could save all of us!" Katjaa exclaimed.

Lilly looked away.

"Not all of us…"

"Look, we don't know if these people are dead." Ben butted in. He didn't want to take the risk.

"If they come back, then we are just monsters who came out of the woods and ruined their lives." Lilly snapped.

Ben would've liked to think that was Lilly agreeing with him.

"This stuff isn't ours." Clem piped up.

"Dad, whose car is it?" Duck asked.

"Don't worry about that Duck, it's ours now."

"It's abandoned Ducky, don't worry."

"What if it's not?" Clementine asked, "What if it's not abandoned? What if it IS someone's?"

There was a long pause, then Lee sighed.

"You're right, we shouldn't take this." Lee decided.

"WHAT?!" Kenny demanded, "Did you get a meal back there that the rest of us missed out on? We have to take this stuff!"

"We've done enough damage already." Lee retorted.

"What do you mean by that?" Kenny questioned.

"Come on Kenny. Between this and the meat locker, you know what it means."

"Fine. Suit yourself. The rest of us are taking this stuff." Kenny put his hand out.

Lee reluctantly took the keys out of his pocket and tossed it at Kenny.

"Okay, what have we got in here?"

Ben observed behind Kenny. He wasn't sure about taking someone else's supplies, but he cared about his survival a bit more.

"Look, there's more food in that box." Ben observed.

Kenny handed Ben a box of food.

"Here hold this."

Ben didn't want to take any blame for looting someone's car, but for now he was okay with this crime. But Ben wondered if anyone would care about his deeds. After all, he was nothing but deadweight.


	5. Chapter 5

A lot of people have been supporting this series! Thank you all! I appreciate all of your guys' support. Anyway, onto Chapter 5!

Ben slowly pushed the dumpster open. It was late at night. Ben was afraid to go out. Not because of the walkers, he wouldn't be going out because of that. He was going to the bandit group he's been aiding for a while now, but without the fair share of supplies. He noticed that Lilly had started counting the supplies in the stash he was stealing from. His own camp failed to deliver supplies as well, which meant Ben couldn't stay at the camp either, otherwise the bandits would attack it. He was lucky that he was keeping the night watch. Ben slowly walked deep into the forest. He soon saw the light of a normal campfire, but to him it just meant certain pain. He sighed and walked in. He was stopped the second he entered.

"About time Deadweight!" The lead bandit snapped.

Ben looked down. They've been calling him that ever since he started dealing with them. Did he have a choice? They were the same people who raided his camp.

"I don't see no bag on him." One of them said. Ben kept his head away from facing their leader.

"Oh Ben. Late again, are we?" The leader started.

The only time he said Ben's real name was during the pre-beating lecture. It was the same thing every time.

"Lemme tell ya something Ben." His words slid like rain dripping down stones, or at least the leader tried to do that "In this world full of dead people who are up and walking, the only thing you care about is survival."

He paced around Ben, like how his teacher lectured him when he got in trouble.

"Many people get into packs, and it works just like the way a wolf pack would. There is an alpha, the leader, and the omega, the deadweight."

The leader stopped pacing for a split second.

"That's you by the way."

The rest of the bandits snickered as he continued pacing around Ben.

"You know what an omega does, right?"

Ben opened his mouth to say a clean, semi-confident yes, but was interrupted.

"Of course you don't. The omega fetches and carries for the pack, regardless of what he has to do." The leader flashed a menacing gaze at him, "But you're not the omega of that motel group. You're our omega, our deadweight."

The leader walked towards the trees and began to gaze at them, as there was something interesting to look at.

"That's why we call you Deadweight, Ben. You're our omega. And if the omega doesn't follow his orders, then he gets a…small punishment."

Ben was shoved to the ground by one of the bandits, Drew he believed. All the bandits started kicking Ben, while the leader stood still, still gazing into the empty forest. Ben tried his best to keep his knees and hands stuck to the ground.

"Hey, that's not fair, Ben!" One of them jokingly yelled at him.

They acted as if this were some sick game. Finally, two of the bandits lifted Ben onto his feet, and a swift punch to the nose knocked him to the ground. Everything was blurry.

"Check if he has anything that will be of use to us." The leader commanded.

_Finally something new_ Ben thought sarcastically to himself.

One of the bandits reached into his pockets and pulled out something.

"Found some stickers. It's all flowers and girly shit." He said.

Ben attempted to push himself up.

"That's my sister's…" Ben said through gritted teeth, "Give it back…you bastards-"

The same bandit that took the stickers from his pocket hit him with the butt of his gun.

"WELL YOUR SISTER IS DEAD AND RAMBLING AROUND AS A FLESH-EATING WALKER." He barked in Ben's ear. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S THE REAL BASTARD, DEADWEIGHT! AND GUESS WHAT, THE ONLY THING LEFT OF YOUR SIBLING IS OURS NOW"

"Give it to him." The leader coolly said, "We're not exactly looking for decorations."

The bandit threw the stickers at Ben's face.

"Consider yourself lucky, Deadweight." The leader began, "I want you to give us the supplies either tonight or early in the morning. Otherwise, your motel will go out of business."

Ben shakily stood up and ran out of the camp as fast as he could. He ran until he nearly crashed into the dumpster he pushed. Ben quickly looked at his reflection from a puddle. No noticeable injuries. His nose was broken, but it didn't show clearly. He silently walked in to the camp. No one was there to change posts with Ben, much to his relief. He quickly smuggled supplies into a small air vent, where he usually hid them, and went back to sit in the chair where he kept post. He didn't know why he could just give the bandits supplies now, but he felt like that wouldn't be worth it. Sure enough, Carley walked up to the RV.

"I'll take over from here. You get some rest."

"Thanks." Ben said. His voice was very strained. He hoped that wouldn't cause speculation.

Carley didn't say anything, so Ben jumped off the RV and went to the room he slept in. He shared the room with Clementine. She was already sleeping in the bed, moving Ben to the couch. He took one look at Clementine and then looked away. He put her in danger, exactly like his sister. Ben cared about Clementine, he even volunteered to take care of her when Lee was away, or gone. Ben sighed. Why couldn't he something else besides the deadweight?

[Trans.]

"Ben, you can take first watch today." Lilly ordered, handing him the gun.

"B-but I did it yesterday." Ben protested.

"Well unless if you want to go with Lee and Kenny back to the walker-infested Macon to fetch us more supplies, I suppose you don't have much choice."

Ben sighed.

"Fine, but just there's one thing I have to do."

Ben walked away before Lilly could protest. She seemed sourer ever since the dairy incident, but Ben shrugged that off for now. Ben walked to Clementine.

"Hey Ben." She greeted.

"Hey Clem. I wanted to give you these." Ben handed Clem his sisters' stickers.

"Wow, where did you find these?" She asked.

"…In a drawer." Ben lied.

"I think I'll put these on my walkie-talkie." Clem declared

"That's a great idea, Clem."

Ben tried to sound cheerful. Those stickers was the last thing he would give to anyone.

[Trans.]

Ben noticed he had been on watch for longer than he usually is. Had they figured out? Ben saw Lee and Kenny enter the motel. Clem greeted Lee, showing him the stickers on her walkie. Lee and Kenny went over to Lilly's room and went in. Ben hoped this wasn't about him.

[Trans.]

Ben was still sitting on the RV, watching at a quiet forest. Lee had been walking around, sometimes with Duck tagging along. Lee then walked up to Ben.

"A flashlight was broken. Was it you?" Lee asked.

"No." Ben quickly replied. He broke that flashlight the first time he got beat up by the bandits.

"You're not in trouble if it was. I know you get nervous and you went to go to the bathroom, broke it, got worried and tossed it."

"What's with the 3rd degree? I didn't break any flashlight!"

Lee stared at him before strolling away, Lee looked at the ground near the dumpsters, and pushed them out of the way. He came back with the same bag Ben stole. Ben was screwed for sure.

"There they are!" A familiar voice called out.

Ben didn't need to think about what was happening

"Everyone get inside!" Ben screamed, "Bandits!"

But everyone was already grabbed and shoved to their knees, with their hands behind their back. Clementine was trying to get away from a bandit that was chasing her. Ben jumped off the RV, picked up Clementine and ran towards the nearest door. Ben was quickly pulled down by one of the bandits, while another dragged Clementine next to Duck.

"Nice try, Deadweight. Now you're gonna die like your sister. A coward, and a deadweight"

Ben felt something inside him snap. Ben gnashed his teeth together and stood up.

"I. AM. NOT. DEADWEIGHT." Ben roared. Ben tried to throw a punch at the bandit, only to be blocked and thrown to the ground. The bandit grabbed Ben's nose and pulled it hard, breaking it all over again. He was dragged over next to Carley. He failed again.

"YOU'VE MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIVES." One of the bandits yelled at them.

"Enough of this bullshit! Drew, start putting your boot to these doors!" The leader ordered.

"Yeah!"

Lee stepped out from behind the RV, his arms up.

"Hold it, asshole!"

"Take it easy. We have more supplies, we can keep the deal going!" Lee said.

"Too late, shithead! We don't give second chances!"

"It was a mix-up! We'll make it worth your while!"

"I'm listening."

"We can split the supplies, spread them around!"

"Or we could just kill you and take it ALL."

"And what about when they run out? When you don't have us out there collecting them for you?"

The bandit lowered his gun.

"Well, I guess we could hash out some terms, then!"

"I don't like no hash." The one next to him said.

"SHUT UP OR I'LL-"

A bullet was put through the leader's head.

"Christ!" One of them yelled.

Ben ran away while Carley and Lee shot the rest.

Suddenly, Ben heard more coming out from the forest.

"Get him!" One yelled.

Ben knew who he was talking about. Ben ran straight to the RV, where Lee was. The window next to him shattered. Ben froze for a moment, then dived back behind the couch.

"We got to get out of here!" Kenny yelled as he ran out of a room.

"No shit!" Lee replied.

"Ben stay down!" Lee called out to him.

"Help, Jesus!" Ben screamed.

Lee fired two shots, both hitting their targets.

"Now! Get over here! Hurry!" Lee said.

"Man you saved our asses!" Ben exclaimed.

"Get inside!"

There were screams and gunshots, but Ben didn't hear any of it. His hands were clamped around his head. He failed them all. Lee, Clementine, Lilly, Katjaa and Duck all ran to the RV and Kenny stepped on the gas, lurching the RV forward and hitting many walkers. It was all his fault. The deadweight's fault.

[Trans.]

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." Ben whimpered. He looked at Lilly.

"I'm sorry." Ben confessed.

Carley tried to calm him down

"Everything's fine Ben-"

"Everything's not fine. We need to figure out how this happened." Lilly looked around, "We just lost everything."

"Well we're lucky as shit to have this RV!" Kenny joined in.

"And nobody died." Carley added.

"Kat's head is split open!" Kenny retorted.

"I'm fine."

"Somebody in here cause this." Lilly said.

"Settle down back there, the bandits had our number for weeks." Kenny piped up.

"This is different." Lilly reciprocated.

She looked at Lee.

"Someone was working with them. Slipping them our meds. They didn't get their last package, so they attacked."

"Calm down back there, that's nuts!" Kenny objected.

"Lee found a bag of our supplies hidden outside our wall!" Lilly snapped back.

"It's true…" Lee confessed.

Ben did his best to not freak out. After all this time with them, and his promise to protect Clem. He couldn't die now.

"So Carley, is there something you want to say?"

"Please." Carley rebutted.

"We have to get it out of you then?"

"Back off." Carley warned.

"You're in no position to make demands."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're just pointing fingers!" Carley accused.

"Carley's trustworthy." Lee defended, "She's not a traitor, Lilly."

"Thank you, Lee"

"She can fight here own battles. Unless there is something that implicates you both." Lilly coolly said.

"Don't be ridiculous."

Ben didn't want this to go on any longer.

"Look, maybe we should, uh, vote or something like that." Ben suggested.

"WHAT?" Lilly demanded.

"Just look, Carley's a stand up gal and maybe this was all a mistake!"

"Let's just deal with the facts. Let's calm down, we'll eat and we'll deal with it."

"Let's just let it go." Lee agreed, "People make mistakes and yeah, this is a fucking doozy, but it's not worth it, Lilly."

"Then what do we NOT forgive? Kenny can kill my dad; Carley can steal from us, where's the line?" Lilly asked.

"Nobody was stealing ANYTHING!" Ben suddenly barked.

Lilly leaned towards him.

"Was it both of you?"

"WHAT?"

Ben knew he said too much.

"I've seen you two together. Was it both of you?"

The only reason they were together was because Lilly put their guard shifts right next to each other, but Ben decided not to say that.

"Look, just let me out. I didn't do it, but I don't like this; I don't like where this is going." Ben pleaded.

Lilly leaned closer to him.

"Look me in the eye and say you didn't have anything to do with it." She demanded.

"Lilly, lay off him." Carley sighed.

Ben was sick of always hiding in the shadows. He had to confess. It was now or never.

"I-"

The RV suddenly jolted forward.

"Shit!" Kenny exclaimed.

"What's going on up there?" Lilly asked.

"I hit something, we gotta stop!"

"Well, we can deal with this now, then." Lilly sneered.

"Everybody out." Lilly demanded.

This was it. This was Ben's time to die.


	6. Chapter 6

Ben was standing outside. The air was frigid, even though it was in the middle of summer. He was about to be found out for his crimes.

Lilly glared at Carley first.

"You know what, we shouldn't kick you out. We should here what everybody else thinks."

"I think you should chill out." Ben blurted out.

"There's no way it's Carley," Lee butted in, "It's someone else. Maybe even someone who's been sneaking into our camp!"

Ben looked away.

"That's ridiculous," Carley responded, "That's what you think?"

"Yes."

"Alright then. Kenny?

"I don't know! Fuck! Just stop!" Kenny said.

"Well your vote counts for you and Katjaa." Lilly decided.

Ben was finally losing it.

"We don't need to do all these VOTES! What do I need to do for you to trust me? I'll do anything!" Ben panicked.

"Stop panicking. Seriously Ben, you need to stop and take a breath." Lee told him.

"Do we need any more evidence that THIS?" Lilly showed.

"FUCK EVIDENCE! Stop treating him like this!" Carley yelled at Lilly.

"Shut up Carley! I've heard enough out of you! Kenny, what's it gonna be?"

"Just give me a damn minute!"

"Ben, you have until that walker is dealt with to tell me it was her and not you!" Lilly instructed.

"Stop it, your torturing him!" Carley demanded.

Lee sighed.

"Tell her, just do it Ben." He told Ben.

"Lee, Jesus! Who are you right now?"

Ben understood that Lee wanted to stop the argument, but he didn't want to risk getting kicked out, or even death.

"Tell her what? She'll kick me out of the group!"

"We won't." Lee reassured, "We'll understand."

"Tell me. NOW" Lilly commanded

"There. I got him." Kenny sighed.

Ben's time was up.

"Please." Ben begged, "Let's just back in the RV."

"That's not happening."

"You think you're a tough bitch, don't you?" Carly began to insult Lilly, "Like nothing can hurt you, but you're just a scared little girl. Get the fuck over it. Take a page from Lee's book and try to help someone for once."

Kenny killed the walker and strolled up to the group.

"Now, what the fuck's the problem?"

Before anyone could answer, Carley turned around and was shot in her head. Lilly looked at Carley's dead corpse and turned to Ben. He froze. Why did it have to come to this?

Lee slammed Lilly to the RV before anything else could happen.

"DROP IT." Lee directed.

Lilly obeyed.

"Holy fuck…" Kenny muttered.

All sounds drowned out from Ben's mind. He crouched lower towards Carley's body. Ben knew Lee was fond of Carley. Now she was dead, and it was his fault. Ben covered his mouth, and a single tear fell onto her corpse.

"I'm sorry…" Ben whispered.

Ben stood up, regaining his hearing and looked at Lilly warily.

"What are we gonna do with her?" He asked.

"You're not coming with us." Lee said.

"I'll die out here." Lilly pointed out.

"I don't care." Lee frowned.

"You're a murderer Lilly, you can't have you with us!" Kenny supported Lee.

"I'm a murderer?! You've been with Lee this whole time!" Lilly objected

"I don't care what he did before!" Kenny retorted.

"You know?!"

"Yeah, he told me. I don't give a shit."

Ben heard small portions of Lee's crimes when he told Clementine.

"If we keep you with us, how long until you get me?" Kenny demanded.

"I was trying to protect all of us. I don't have anything left." She sobbed.

There was a long silence.

"Get in Lee. Let's go you guys." Kenny said.

Ben looked at Lilly one last time before entering the RV, now a vehicle of shame.

[Trans.]

Ben had the same dream again. His sister's screams, the voice. It was all there. Ben had been awake all night. When the RV stopped, Ben lugged himself out of there. He was shown a freight train. It didn't seem to have any damage on it, hopefully it still worked. Ben turned to Lee for distraction.

"Why don't you and I have a look around?" Ben asked Lee.

"Yeah. Everyone else, relax. Clem, stay close to Kenny and Kat, okay?

Ben walked over to the train's ladder.

"Lee," Kat asked, "If there's anything to drink, a dining car or something, I think Ducks a bit dehydrated."

"It's a freighter, hon." Kenny replied.

Ben sighed, and tried to climb up. Guilt seemed to weigh him down, because he struggled to get onto the platform. Lee walked up to him.

"What would you have done with Lilly?" He asked Ben.

"I don't know. Left her. I've never seen anybody kill someone like that before."

"You've seen a bunch of other stuff by now." Lee stated.

"Yeah, but not like that."

Ben's real answer would have been that he wouldn't do anything. He would be dead.

"Was it you?" Lee suddenly asked.

"Not this again…" Ben whined.

"Was it?"

"NO."

"Okay, then. You happy you stayed with us all this time?"

"Yeah." Ben happily said.

"You sure?" Lee questioned.

"It's with you guys, or dead. I woulda died out there in the woods, just like my classmates."

"You think this is better?"

"Yeah, of course!"

Lee sighed and walked into the boxcar. Ben slid open the door and saw the remnants of a bedroom.

"Whoa." Ben breathed.

"Somebody's been living in here." Lee said as Ben climbed in.

"Yeah man. Shit. Think they're gone?"

"I hope so, but this looks recently used. Keep a look-out and have your guard up."

Ben jumped out of the boxcar, examining more of the train.

Soon, Ben saw Lee walk to the engine room and followed him.

"We got one." Lee whispered, "Walker. Sitting the chair. We got him."

Lee slowly crept up to the walker and hit him on the head with a wrench. It limply fell forward. Lee and Ben sighed.

"Suppose we ought to look him over." Lee said.

"Yeah."

Lee grabbed the walker and pushed him off the chair. It loosely fell onto the floor. Ben noticed a hole in the window next to him.

"I don't think this guy came back…" Ben suggested

"Christ…"

Lee looked over to the control board.

"That light is flashing." Lee observed.

"Push it!"

"Push it?"

"Why not?"

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Here, look." Ben said as he pushed the button.

Ben heard a hissing noise coming from outside.

"It's just the brakes." Ben concluded.

"Alright, I'll give you that one." Lee said.

Ben smiled. It was the first time he smiled in months.

"This fucker works?" Kenny asked as he walked in.

"Seems like it." Lee replied.

"I'll be damned." Kenny stated. "How the hell do we get it moving?"

"I don't know, ask Mister Amtrak over here." Lee teased.

"No clue." Ben answered, dragging the dead body out of the control room.

Ben walked back into the room.

"Ben, if you could keep an eye on the girls and Duck, I'd much appreciate it. I'm gonna make sense of these controls." Kenny told him.

Ben merely nodded and went outside. At least it seemed like someone was trusting him now.

[Trans.]

Ben had been sitting quietly on a log for a long time. Some guy named Chuck gave him some candy. Ben only ate a little bit. He couldn't muster up the appetite to eat anything, even though he didn't eat for days. Chuck exited the train, Lee following him.

"You met Chuck!" Clementine said as she ran up to Lee.

"Yeah…I did." Lee said back.

"It's so nice to meet someone normal for a change." Katjaa added.

"He gave us candy, Ben too!" Clem revealed.

Lee looked at Ben for a brief moment. Then looked a Chuck.

"What's your game, man?" Lee asked.

"Keeping alive" Chuck answered.

"That's not bad."

"I like it."

"You've met Kenny?"

"Sure did." Chuck sat down, "Man shared my love of the road."

"That's for certain."

Chuck walked over to Katjaa and Duck.

"I'm sorry your son's not feeling good."

"I appreciate your concern." Katjaa thanked.

"Well, with a little TLC, I'm sure he'll be fit as a fiddle in no time. And I could offer y'all whatever I got, although it ain't much."

"Thank you. We'd like to do the same." Katjaa said.

"Why don't we hold off on…" Kenny began.

"Stay with us. We'd like the company." Katjaa finished.

Kenny didn't respond and walked over to the train. Lee followed him. They talked for a while before approaching the group.

"We don't have much left, so just gather what you have." Kenny told them, "Let's go."

Ben was the first to jump on the boxcar and sat near the door. When the train started, everyone looked at Katjaa and Duck, wondering what to do. As usual, Ben was the probably the only one who felt scared.

They all sat silently for an hour.

"Got to be hard on ya, eh?" Chuck said. "Three adults, taking care of three kids; no disrespect son." He turned to Ben.

Ben just frowned at Chuck and turned away. He hated being called a child.

"There were more of us." Lee stated.

"Dead get them?"

"Yes."

"…Shame."

"Lee come here please, get Ken!" Katjaa said.

"What's-" Lee began.

"Would you get that off his face? My hands are full here."

Lee wiped off some blood off of Duck's face.

"He's out of time." Katjaa said, "We need to stop this train."

"Okay." Lee replied.

"Please."

Lee walked out the train and towards the control room.

"This is all my fault." Ben confessed again.

"Don't say that Ben, it's nobody's fault." Katjaa said.

"But I-"

Ben saw Clem looking at him, as if she was pleading that it wasn't him. Ben sighed and buried his head in his hands, sentence unfinished.

Everyone sat quietly for a long time, before the train slowly skidded to a stop. As always, Ben was the first one out.

Kenny climbed off of the train, looking down.

"Ken, I think it's time." Katjaa said.

"The boy's been bit, in case you haven't figured that out." Kenny told Chuck.

"What do you need?" Lee asked.

"I…I…" Kenny trailed off.

"It's time to…" Katjaa sighed, "This is not possible."

"What are we gonna do?"

"We can't allow him become one of those things."

"But what if he doesn't?" Kenny asked.

"Kenny, I love you very much. I love our son more than life itself. I need you to hear me. What are you saying, about him not turning, is foolish."

"But-"

"No."

"There's…Come on Kat."

"If you think of one, you let me know."

"Isn't there some sort of pill, something we can just give him, something-?"

"Stop."

"He can just drift off to sleep, right hon? I mean Jesus, this is our son!"

"I KNOW. But it's…here," Katjaa pointed at her head, "or nothing."

"Well…fuck…just…who then?" Kenny said, "You want me to?"

"You don't have to."

"I'll do it."

"No. You don't have to."

"I'll do it." Lee jumped in.

"No," Katjaa disagreed, "It should be a parent."

"No parent should have to do something like this." Lee argued.

"Lee's right, Kat. We can say our goodbyes and…just let that be it"

"I don't know…Lee, you'd be doing this family a great service." Katjaa looked at Duck for a long, sad moment.

"Why don't we take him into the woods. So Clementine doesn't have to see." Katjaa finally decided.

"Yeah." Kenny whispered.

"Give us a moment to say goodbye?" Katjaa asked Lee.

"Of course."

Kenny and Katjaa walked away with Duck, and Clementine walked to Lee.

"What's happening?" She asked.

"I'm going to take care of Duck."

"I thought he was going to die." Clementine replied.

"I'm going to make sure he's okay."

"How…he's bitten."

"By making sure he doesn't come back."

"Oh."

"Look Clem-"

A gunshot rang from the forest.

"What the-"

"No!" Kenny yelled.

"Ben! Take Clementine into the train! Go it'll be fine!"

Ben carried Clementine into the train, Chuck following them.

Ben knew Katjaa was another person that he killed.


End file.
